To "Kerry" with affection

It always seems strange to me how some people are so self-involved that they think the world revolves around them and nobody else. Take this evening, for example. My last job took me to Chapelizod, where I dropped, and immediately I get a job over the XDA for some apartments nearby. I wasn't going to do the job. I wanted to go home after 6 hours of driving which included 4 hotel bangers (where you get a call to a hotel 10 minutes away and then when you arrive find the caller has left five minutes before in another taxi), and a job where the client had been left waiting by the company for an hour and twenty minutes and I had to apologise for something for which I wasn't responsible. Also I was starving, not having eaten since 12 o'clock noon, and I needed to pee badly. I wasn't going to take this job, but I thought, I'm nearby, I can be there in minute, and the client won't have to wait ages for a another taxi.
So I key in an arrival time of one minute and I'm at the gates of the block in 30 seconds, at 9.20, which was actually 10 minutes before I'm due to arrive at 9.30. I key the number of the client's phone into my handset and the client (let's call her Kerry), answers the phone.
-Hi Kerry?
-Yes
-I'm your taxi. I'm at the gates.
-You're at the gates?
-Yes,
-Ok we'll be dine in a minute.
-Fine, see you in a minute.
Five minutes later, I'm still sitting there, thinking that if she'd told me she was going to be this long, I could have gone for a pee. Four minutes later I send a text: Taxi waits, meter goes on at 21.30 (in one minute). No response.
21.30 meter goes on: €4.10 plus €2 call out charge.
At 21.35 I decide to ring the base to ask them if they can ring because this girl hasn't appeared yet, nor has she tried to contact me, but they tell me that she's just been on trying to ask where am I. I tell them I'll try her again,
When I ring I get this:
-Where are you? Are you just arraiving naiw?
-No, I've been here at the gates for 15 minutes, around on Maiden's Row. Do you know where that is?
-No.
-Do you live here?
It's a joke, but it ellicits a frosty:
-Well, we're here at the Spahir and we've been waiting for five minutes.
-Why are you at the Spar?
-I teold you when you rang to wait at the Spahir.
-No, you never mentioned the Spar. But stay where you are. Don't move.
And I put the car into gear and start to manouvre so that I can get out of the cul de-sac and around to the spar.
-I'm coming around to you now, but I've to get out of the cul-de-sac.
Now getting out of this cul-de-sac is difficult because there's not a huge amount of space...so maybe I grunt a bit while I'm doing it.
-Look there's no need to be so.. so... uppity abiyt it.
-I'm not being uppity, I'm just trying to get out of the dead-end and come around to get you.
-Look it doesn't matter. Forget abiyt it.
_What do you mean, forget about it?
-We'll find our eown way into tine. Thanks.
-Kerry, there's no need to do that. I'm a taxi and I'm here. Why would you want to do that?
-No. Jist forget abiyt it.

And that was that. It was no skin off my nose. I was in Chapelizod anyway, so I hadn't had to travel to pick her up. The wait was a bit of a drag, but I still got home quicker than if I'd taken her into "Tine". I'd hate to have to bring her home later tonight, when she's a few on her (but then I don't do nights, for reasons referred to elsewhere in this blog.) I sent her a text, telling her to read this. I wonder will she? "Kerry", I hope your evening got better, but with your attitude, I doubt it!

Post script.
A year later, and I get a job over the XDA to collect "Kerry" again. She's going into "tine" again, and I wonder will I screw her around a bit, but decide against it. I ring her, with my number withheld in case she saved my number last time, and just like last time she says she'll be dine in a minish. The job says the pick up is in Chapelizod Village this time, as opposed to the block where I waited the last time. After abiyt ten minites, a number of slinkily clad attractive young things appear well turned ite.
-We're gaying to the Manshun Hiyse, one of them says.
-FIne, I say, and turn the car. I'm trying to guess which one is "Kerry", and I decide it's the one on my left, as opposed to any of the three in the back seat. But when one of them behind calls a different name and the girl beside me answers, I realise I'm wrong. So I ask
-Which one is Kerry? and the one diagonally behind me says -Me.
I look at her in the mirror for a second. She's not impressive, good or bad.
-I see, is all I say, and continue to drive along the North Quays.
She says, -Akshully, kid we stop at the Centra at the top of Dawson Street so I can buy some cigarettes?
-Sure, I say. All the talk on the way is abiyt Colm and George, and Advertising and Marketing, which is the field they all work in.
I'm with Bill Hicks on
this